Monday, April 4, 2011


My boys are relatively well behaved... Relative to what, you ask? A Hurricane. (I was going to make a tsunami joke, but even I felt it would be to soon.)

Sunday night is Game Night- Because of the shitty shift that my husband refuses to stop working, our family time is at a minimal. Honestly, I think he plans it this way.

Game night goes something like this. "What are we playing?" "UNO!" "KERPLUNK!" "NO OPERATION!" "NO SORRY SILDERS!!!", All in one single scream that sounds like it's coming from the same person. Which obviously causes S to pull a "WTF" scream- Which in turn causes one of the three cats to become terrified and run into the kitchen/bathroom/basement and immediately begin to vomit. At least they do it on tile.

So we pick Kerplunk, and G thinks he's being sneaky and putting the sticks in so only he's going to win... He's giggling like a little bitch, thinking he's got it in the bag. L's hogging all the marbles to put in the tube. Argument ensues, S starts screaming again, another cat bolts out of the living room.

Now's when I decide it's time to get out the water bottle to spray any offenders. It's better than slapping them on the nose with an newspaper, right? The newspaper would probably be more effective.

Kerplunk starts. The rule is that you have to hand your sticks to daddy so he can put them away. Instead of putting them away, he starts using them as Walrus teeth. Boys immediately voice opinions that range from "GROSSSSSSS" to "LET ME TRYYYYYYY"... Great. Thanks Dave. Dave gets sprayed. Finally, someone pulls a stick that marbles fall. Of course it has to be L. Now, I've commented on his reaction to losing board games before.

He gets sprayed in the face. He laughs. Meltdown averted. G starts begging to be sprayed. I tell him no. His turn. He pulls a stick- His own "sneaky stick". "AWWWW CRAPPPPPPPP!!! I forgot about it!!!". We're laughing at him. He throws a marble. He gets sprayed right in the nose. Hilarity insues.

On to Uno. Calm game, right? OHHHHHH NOOOOO. See, G and L often try to see what cards the other has to help mommy and daddy keep the game going. "HE'S LOOKING AT MY CARDS!!!!" "NO I WAS LOOKING AT HIS BUTTTTTT". Really? That's what you're going to tell me?

Things like this keep happening for an hour and eventually the evening starts to calm down... But then I got a butt pointed at me and told that L was going to fart on me. I told him that if he did, I'd plug his butt and then tape him to the bed.

Little fucker went and got the duct tape for me.

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